I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize