your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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