God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
