i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
