you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
