i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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