how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize