I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
