I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
