guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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