Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
