So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
