sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
