i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
