If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize