Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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