Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
smell my finger.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
