The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I had to cum in my sink.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize