North Korea, Best Korea!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
