All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
