After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Congratulations! We have a period
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
