Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
