soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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