I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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