you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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