i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
third nipple confirmed
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
