I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
