Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize