So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
