I'm drive I can fine osifer
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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