highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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