Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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