The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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