Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
