Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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