I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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