I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
