matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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