return my video game
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We need a shit load of segways right now
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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