the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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