Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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