Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
