When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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