I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
