That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Randomize
