watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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