I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
