This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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