Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
