Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
