I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
