i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
