Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
