She's like a pop up book from hell.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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