Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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