garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
