Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
