Say something about gay babies.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
