i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
